Lil Romeo

Hubby went to pick up Speedy from school the other day and the teacher said "Oh his new name is Romeo." Hubby asked why and she said that he kissed a girl's hand and told her bye.

What?!?!?! My 6 year old kissed a girl's hand?????

So Speedy later told us that that was his girlfriend Isabella. (Hmm is he the Edward Cullen to that Bella? Only I would think that after hearing her name. LOL) And that he told her "Bye Sweetie" and then kissed her hand.

WTF???? I almost died on the spot.

He THEN said that she wasn't his only girlfriend. He has another one named Cheyenne. Now she's been his "girlfriend" for a while now cuz they went to daycare together. Hubby told him that she would be jealous if she found out that he kissed Isabella. And he replied "Well I just won't tell her". Um I think I have my work cut out for me in teaching him about girls. And also about germs and the swine flu. LOL

Oh and the other day hubby yelled at Speedy for doing something and Speedy said "I'll probably hate you when I grow up!". Probably so son. Probably so. I almost choked from laughing when he said that.

My little boy is growing up. He's such a smartass sometimes and he's only 6! Wonder where he gets that from? Although he KNOWS better than to sass me. I'm the one to discipline him but also the one to cuddle with and bake cookies. So I'm pretty much the favorite parent. YES!!!!

P.S. Conehead Tink fell down the other day and broke her cone. Not her crown, her CONE. So what did we do? Oh we just duct taped it back together. Now she looks like a REAL redneck with her trashy looking cone. She fits right in with us now.

I Almost Died Laughing

I was watching SNL on Saturday so I could see Taylor Swift hosting cuz she is just the cutest. And when I saw this video, I laughed so hard I started coughing and couldn't stop.

Taylor does such a great job playing Bella. In fact, I think she's a better Bella than Kristin Stewart. Check this video out and laugh your ass off.



I just watched it again and laughed until I coughed. They have every damn move from Twilight down pat. Too freaking funny!

Revenge of the Conehead

I was home from work yesterday because I was dying sick and I happened to get a couple of pictures for yall of the conehead. And yes she still does run right at me with that thing.

Here is conehead longing to go run and play out in the yard. She's not allowed to run around so she's pretty pissed about that. She'll walk up to me and sit there and growl at me. She's pretty pissed at the world right now.

And this one is my favorite. I laugh everytime I see it.

She looks so sad and pitiful that I can't help but laugh. And then when I laugh, she comes and beats the shit out of me with that cone.

I have to take it off of her when she eats and when I go to put it back on, she lays on the floor likes she's dead so I can't get it back on her easily. Kinda like when we get to the vets office and she puts her brakes on and won't get out the car.

I imagine I'm a sight to see picking up a fatass 50+ pound bulldog in the middle of town. Then when I DO get her inside, she hits the brakes again and I pretty much have to drag her across the floor.

I can't wait til next Friday when the vet takes out her stitches and the cone is gone. Oh and they're gonna have to tranquilize her to get the stitches out. Good times people. Good times.

Coneheads Will Take You DOWN

Yesterday Tinkerbell had to have surgery on her eye. Don't ask what number this surgery was for her or how much it cost. Really! Don't ask!

So she had surgery on her eyelid. It turned into her eye and kept rubbing her eye, which I'm sure is very painful and annoying. It's called Entropian. Anyway, the vet did his magic and she now has stitches under her eye and it's pretty gross looking. Don't worry, I don't have pictures...yet.

And since she would naturally want to rub that eye, she has to wear a cone on her head. I think they're called Elizabethan collars. Who the hell came up with that? Anyway she's a conehead.

She can't get to her eye now and that bothers the shit out of her. But she CAN run at me at full speed and about knock me down with that damn collar. When you get hit in the shins or the back of the legs with a hard ass piece of plastic, it hurts. And I almost fell over one time.

Poor weenie dog Emmie got took down this morning. Fat cow had just woken up and got stuck in her crate and couldn't turn around. She finally got loose and was charging like a bull and whipped that cone around and knocked Emmie to the ground. It's like the damn running with the bulls at my house. (Running with the bull...dogs) I'll have to take a picture of conehead to show y'all. She looks so dumb in that thing.

AND she's taking pills to calm her down but that shit ain't working. I think she needs a horse tranquilizer. Gee only 6 more days of this to go. Yay!

Don't worry, if I DO get taken down by the beast, y'all will be the first to know.

Halloween Recap

I hope everybody had a great Halloween. We sure did. Even though I must have walked 2 miles in my dressy Mary Jane shoes. Hey, I was a ghouly witch but I HAD to wear cute shoes. It's a must.

We went to my parents house and went with them and my brothers family trick or treating. My mom and dad drove the truck and we sat in the back. Stylin!

Oh and remember how I had on a flimsy T-shirt the day before cuz it was hot? Yea a cool front came through so it was pretty damn cold for Halloween. I was thankful for my red striped tights but still froze my ass off.

That is until we found the big ass subdividion where we walked for miles. This place reminded me of a movie cuz we just walked down the pretty little sidewalks from house to house. (Note: We don't have sidewalks by my house.) I felt like I was in the movie Halloween and was waiting for Michael Meyers to jump out at me. It was really cool. And a place for rich people. These people also had a whole block blocked off with blowup spacewalks and slides set up. As Speedy yelled out "These people are rich!". Yes son they are. Now onto the pictures.

Here I am after doing my makeup. I don't know what the hell I am cuz I just go mess around with my makeup and put shit on. I got the crying blood idea from "True Blood".

Next up is a really shitty picture of me and Speedy that my mom took. She's a TERRIBLE photographer so I'm still waiting for my dad to email me some good pics that he took.

Here's my little "poser" wolf.

And here he is with my nephew aka Optimus Prime. (We're at my parents house and they have a shitload of blowups. You should see what they have for christmas.)

We did have a dilemma as we were fixing to leave. Speedy couldn't see out of his wolf mask and he didn't wanna wear it so I whipped out my black lipstick and did some impromptu makeup. He looked pretty cool but I didn't get a picture of him. Somebody asked if he was Alice Cooper and then somebody else thought he was The Crow. Here he is AFTER trick or treating and looking rough. LOL

He and my nephew had a blast this year. This was really the first time they actually got the concept of trick or treating. And to be honest, Speedy just liked ringing doorbells and seeing peoples houses.

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Here are some things he said throughout the night.

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"Oooh I really like your house"

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"Oooh I really like your stairs"

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"These people must be rich"

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"Don't drink drugs" (They learned about saying no to drugs at school this week)

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"I like the spiderwebs in the trees" (It was actually moss hanging from the old oak trees)

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"Why did that man give me a toothbrush" (Evidently we trick or treated at a dentists house. He gave them toothbrushes, toothpaste and floss. Oh and his business card. LOL)

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"That green smoke made me sick" (There was a fog machine with a green light shining on it)

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"Hey ya got any candy" (He's classy like me)

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So instead of going to the subdivison with the mile long driveways next year, we're gonna head to the movie looking neighborhood. More candy and less walking. That's a win win situation.

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P.S. We went to the house of a man who owns a bunch of clubs in New Orleans. His house was HUGE!! He had a giant fountain in the front and it lit up all different colors. His porch had a shitload of decorations on it but no candy. WTF? WHY would you majorly decorate and not have any candy? That's just wrong. He could have hired somebody to hand out candy with as much money as he has. Speedy said it was a mansion. LOL Pretty close.

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P.P.S. My brother got offered beer quite a few times and also got offered to go back and watch the LSU game with all the rich people. I told him he should have took the beer and we would have had a case by the end of the night. Ya always gotta think ahead.

Who Says You Have To Wait For Halloween?

Even though Halloween isn't until tomorrow, our office aka me and my bff, decided to dress up today. We don't need it to be the actual day cuz we're badass like that. So we decided to dress as 80's chicks. And since I was BORN in 81 and she graduated in 86, and I didn't really know what was going on since I was a kid, our versions of 80's attire differs. See below.


She is actually wearing stuff that she had in the 80's. Me not so much. I'm actually a future Rock of Love contestant. Can't you tell?

And don't think that because I'm at the office I can't rock it. I can rock it ANYWHERE!

How ya like my gloves? They're the little knit winter gloves and I snipped the tips off. And you see that headband? Gave me a headache and I still have the indentation across my head now even though I took it off a couple hours ago.

Me and bff had to go to the post office at lunch and neither of us wanted to do it since it was in the hoity toity city so we agreed to both go in. As I'm getting the mail, a cop walks by us and said "It looks like the party is over here". We laughed and my bff told him we were 80's chicks and not streetwalkers. He said "It doesn't matter to me as long as you like to be handcuffed. That's all the matters". We laughed and hauled ass from the creepy ass cop. Too bad he wasn't good looking cuz then it would have been more interesting.

So I got hit on by what we call a "rogue cop" and was told I looked great today. Um maybe I should tease my hair and wear a shitload of makeup more often.

No more More Money For You

Yesterday Speedy was supposed to go on his very first fieldtrip. It was to a local farm and he has been super excited to go for about a month now. He's totally into tractors and farm equipment. Has been since he could talk. BUT it was raining in the morning so I wasn't sure if they would cancel the trip or not, SO I gave him $10 that my mom gave him to buy something at the farm. I specifically told him if they DIDN'T go on their fieldtrip, that he was to bring the money back home and NOT to spend it at school. I told him this 3 times on the way to school and he said OK.

I get home and it goes like this.

Me: Hey Speedy, did you go on your fieldtrip today?

Him: No, we're gonna go another day after Halloween time.

Me: OK well give me your money so I can put it up so it doesn't get lost.

Him: Um, ... uh I don't have it.

Me: WHAT?! Where is it? (while I'm digging in his pockets)

Him: Um Gavin said he really wanted it so I gave it to him.

Me: (head about to bust open cuz I TOLD him to bring it back home) WHAT?! I told you to bring it back home!!!!!!!

Him: But Gavin didn't have any money for the fieldtrip so I gave it to him.

Me: (I've lost it by now and walk away yelling) UGH!!!

walking back after a minute...

Me: But if you didn't go on your fieldtrip, WHY did you give him the money?.....yelling....face turning red....walking away again.

Him: But he really wanted it so I gave it to him.

So I told him to ask Gavin today for the money back because he got in trouble for giving it away. I'm sure that kid already spent it but he's gonna ask anyway. He has no idea about money and even though I TOLD him to bring it home, I guess he was just trying to be nice to the other kid.

I was SO mad that he didn't listen to me. He can keep 2 fucking dollars all day to spend at a pep rally but can't keep 10 bucks in his pocket an hour. WTF?

So I told him if he doesn't get the money back, when they DO go on their fieldtrip, that he won't have any money to take with him. He won't be able to buy anything so maybe that will teach him his lesson about keeping his money. Of course that makes me feel bad cuz I always want him to be able to enjoy things like all the other kids, but he didn't listen to me so he'll have to go without. I'm not gonna give him anymore money cuz hell who knows where it would go.

He also said "I guess you don't like me anymore" after I yelled at him. BROKE MY HEART! I told him that I love him no matter what, but he's gotta listen when I tell him things.

Being a mom is tough. Teaching lessons is even tougher. I hope I do the right things. I mean I don't want him to kill me later in life. Although y'all know we DO already have a picture for that.